The Phobia Of 5G Technology: Advantages And Misconceptions

 

5G, known as the fifth-generation technology is the modern upgrade of the 4G technology which offered great connectivity to mobile phone users. The 5G is a technology adopted as a standard for the cellular network and since 2019, mobile phone companies have started deploying the technology worldwide. Just like the 4G, the 5G network is also a cellular network which requires the splitting of geographical areas into bits known as cells. All 5G wireless devices in a cell are connected to the Internet and networks through a local antenna in a cell with the aid of radio waves.

Advantages of 5G Technology

Just like every other nascent technology, 5G technology has numerous advantages and here are a few:

• Bi-directional and wide bandwidth shaping
• High resolution

• More efficient and effective than the 4G
• Easy to manage
• Provision of a very large broadcasting data that will support above sixty thousand connections.
• It can provide uninterrupted, consistent and a uniform connection across the globe
• High technology that supports heterogeneous services, alongside private networks.
• Multiple services. For example, the ability to know the area and climate while in communication with the recipient.
• PCs can be controlled by mobile phones
• Support fast and effective online schooling

5G Phobias And How They Can Be Solved

Irrespective of the fact the fifth-generation technology has been conceptualized and researched to proffer solutions to virtually all the problems of radio signals and the challenges of the mobile world, there have been several fears surrounding its emergence.

The 5G network seems great but like so many new technologies, it has its disadvantages. 

There have been several speculations about the fifth-generation technology that have raised fears in the minds of users. However, most of those speculations are unrealistic. 

A major scare in the mind of 5G users is that the technology supports high frequencies, but different countries where it is used have different ways of capping the frequency. One major solution is to centralize the processing that was carried out by base stations. In that case, instead of having each base station handle the processing, the raw data would be processed in a central location.

The fears of electromagnetic radiation have always been there but the emergence of 5G is only reviving a previous concern in a new guise.

The 5G technology is not responsible for the spread of Covid-19, the only act that spreads Covid-19 is contact with an infected person.

Blockchain Technology: The Beginners Guide

 The term blockchain is a common term for modern digital technology enthusiasts. The urge for accountability of data and record keeping largely catalyzed the emergence of this technology.

The simplest definition for blockchain technology is that it is a decentralized, distributed ledger that records the history of data from a digital asset. This piece will equip the reader with what blockchain technology is all about, its history, and how it is used. Blockchain is also known as Distributed Ledger Technology (DLT), it is used to make the provenance of a digital asset to be transparent and to make sure that it cannot be altered by anyone. This is achieved through what is known as decentralization.

A very easy way to understand the operation of blockchain technology is by linking it to a computer document. When a document is created and distributed to a group of people, the document is not transferred or copied to the group of people, instead, it is distributed simultaneously to everyone in the group. This brings about a form of decentralized distribution that makes it possible for everyone in the group to access the document at the same time. A group participant does not have to wait for another participant to view and make changes, changes made by any of the group participants are recorded in real-time and they are transparent. However, blockchain technology is far more complicated than a computer document but the illustration perfectly fits because it brings out three major ideas of blockchain technology, which are

• Assets are not transferred or copied, rather they are distributed
• Assets are decentralized
• Changes are transparent, thereby protecting integrity and securing the document which builds trust in the asset.

Blockchain technology is a promising and fast-rising technology, owing to the fact that it eliminates fraud, reduces the risk of cybercrimes and brings about the transparency of data transfer and transactions, and can be used in numerous fields of life.

The major reason for the adoption of blockchain is to promote in cases of data transfer, internet transfers, and transactions due to its high level of security.

There are three major concepts that make up a blockchain, blocks, miners, and nodes.

Blocks:  there are numerous chains present in every block and each block consists of three basic elements: the data in the block, a nonce made up of a 32-bit whole number which is randomly formulated the moment a block is created, and a hash, which is a 256-bit number linked to the nonce and must begin with so many numbers of zeros. The nonce creates the cryptographic hash after the first block of a chain has been created, the block is then signed and remains tied forever to the hash and nonce until it is mined.

Miners: miners are professionals that create new blocks on a chain via a process known as mining. There are a unique nonce and hash to every block in a blockchain and they reference the hash of the preceding block. With the use of high tech software, miners solve complex arithmetic problems known as cryptographic, to find a nonce that creates an accepted hash. There are about four billion nonce-hash that must be mined before miners would find the golden nonce and their new block is then added to the chain. This is because the nonce has 32 bits and the hash has 256 bits. To make a change or alteration to any block, re-mining is required not only to the block that needs to be altered but to all other blocks after it, this is the reason why it is difficult to manipulate blockchain technology. Miners are rewarded financially when a block has been successfully mined.

Applications of Blockchain technology

There are numerous blockchain applications in various industries worldwide. Blockchain technology can be used to track financial fraud, sharing of patients medical records securely, and for tracking down intellectual property theft and business rights

Although blockchain is a modern technology, it is one that has so many successful achievements in the fields where it has been used.

Implications Of Mold Growth In Your Home

 Ever wondered what that blackish or greenish dirty looking substance stuck at the corner of your kitchen wall, bathroom wall, ceiling, crawl spaces, furniture or even on an abandoned book in an old cupboard is or how it got there? Surprisingly, it is not just dirt, it is a living organism, precisely a fungus known as MOLD, it grows based on how favorable the humidity of the environment is and like most organisms, it is also harmful to humans.

Molds are naturally occurring organisms that can appear on almost every damp or wet surface. They are mainly found outdoors where they assist nature in the breaking down of dead plants. They exist through moisture and they reproduce via small spores that are spread by air. When they are found in the home, they can be very harmful to humans.

What Is The Best Environment For Mold To Grow?

When you know the best environment where molds can survive, it becomes easy for you to prevent it from appearing in your home. Molds thrive better in damp or wet surfaces, basically where the relative humidity of the environment is above 80%. They can be prevented by keeping walls and surfaces dry and clean always and by also avoiding anything that can cause moisture on surfaces.

How Bad Is It To Live In A House With Mold?

Living in a house with mold can make you sick. Molds can cause irritation of the eyes, nose, skin, lungs and throat. They can lead to uncontrollable sneezing and can be very harmful to those who have asthma or allergies. The musty smell of molds can affect the throat and living in a mold-infested environment for long hours, for example, your bedroom where you spend more time in can affect the lungs. 

What Causes Mold Growth In The Home?

Molds flourish in moist, damp, wet and high relative humidity environments. The major causes of mold growth in the home are, roof leaks, overflowing water pipes and flooding. Molds are prominent in houses with a wet foundation like swampy areas. However, molds do not die when the atmosphere becomes dry, they can only become inactive during the dry period and become active again and spread during the wet seasons

What Are The Symptoms Of Mold Caused Sickness

The symptoms caused by molds may include but not limited to, headache, sneezing, coughing, fatigue, and red/watery eyes. Asthmatic patients can suffer from attacks when they are exposed to molds.

How To Get Rid Of Mold In The House

Molds emanate a musty smell that can make you uncomfortable. When molds are found in the home, they can be prevented by wiping the surface where they are seen with a recommended solution product, soap, water or a diluted bleach solution. Endeavor to always keep the surface dry to prevent a reoccurrence and check the surface regularly to see if the mold has resurfaced. 

Popular Health Practices That Are Unhealthy

 In recent times, there has been a growing need to live a healthy lifestyle amongst individuals across the globe. Now more than ever, humans have made healthy living a necessity. There are various healthy living tips on the internet, many practices that were learnt from the previous generation and numerous pieces of advice from individual experiences. It is possible to try out every health tips you find but the last thing you want to use for an experiment is your health. It is advantageous to be able to access various health tips at any possible time without having to book an appointment with your doctor but the real question is, how many free health tips are healthy? 

These popular health practices are unhealthy:

Drinking Bottled Water: 

A few years ago, bottled water was the ideal safe drinking water but research has shown that bottled water contains toxins from the plastic bottle. However, water is not acidic but when you drink water out of a plastic bottle, there is a high tendency of you taking in the chemicals used in making the bottles because those toxins can leach onto the water. Old water bottles and water bottles that have been exposed to heat are highly effective in accumulating these toxins. These toxins can go through the bloodstream and cause various health problems like cancer, kidney and liver damages. 

Usage Of Cotton Buds For Cleaning Of The Ear: 

Growing up, it was taught that it is necessary to clean your ears weekly with the use of cotton buds. The wax in the ears was seen as dirt. Surprisingly, the wax in our ears are not dirt and it is very harmful to put cotton buds in the ear for the sake of cleaning. Cerumen also known as the earwax is a natural substance that is slightly acidic and helps the ear to fight bacteria and it is a bit oily which provides a waterproof barrier for the ear. There is absolutely no need to clean out the wax and any attempt to do so with the aid of cotton buds would only cause damages to your ear.

Eating Margarine:

Margarine was advertised as the low-fat alternative for butter but the truth is, margarine is not a hundred per cent healthy as acclaimed. Although margarine contains some heart-friendly nutrients, it also contains trans fat which has a high risk of causing heart diseases and other heart-related issues. 

Regular Intake Of Energy Drinks: E

drinks are seen as a major source of energy for sports, work and other activities. As the name implies, it provides energy but it is accompanied by a whole lot of health risks. Energy drinks contain caffeine which can cause various health issues like, high blood pressure, nausea, vomiting, palpitations, convulsion and can sometimes lead to death. Energy drinks also reduce the insulin sensitivity in the body and that can cause diabetes. Regular intake of energy drinks can also lead to low birth weight, stillbirth, miscarriages, poor dental health and ironically, obesity.

DIARY OF AN AJEBUTTER KID 4

Life hasn't been easy over here, a lot of people talking trash about me and lambasting me cause of my diary😒. Everyone calls me Mayowa now😞. You won’t believe that on my way back from Howells crib last week, a thug stooped me and told me that it was ok of me to insult my dad in my diary but I should never write about his younger brother Mayowa, He even threatened to cut my fingers if I post any trash about his younger brother again😓. I could even perceive the stench of alcohol in his breath.  Like how do these street guys get access to my diary😒??? I should have punched👊 him in his face but then fighting is a sin😇(the last time I was involved in a fight, I took a bath in the estate drainage…… don’t ask me how it happened but that was when I realized fighting wasn’t a good thing after all). Well, I’m posting now and incase anything happens to my fingers…. His name is Bashiru, he is Mayowa’s elder brother… you can always find him under the tree close to the lottery shop just outside our estate😤. 

So due to the recent gossips and insults I have been receiving, I have decided to reduce writing about my personal life😶. And so I will be keeping my private life private. Oh yes!, well, Let me gist you how I got my first kiss😤.

My friend Howells had been giving me lectures on how to kiss a girl with practical too😚. I know what you are thinking…… just so you know, we are not gays…. We actually do alternative to practical with oranges. In no time, I had learnt how to kiss oranges perfectly and I was ready for the real deal👍. I didn’t have a girlfriend, so it was going to be either nurse veronica or Christabel (Brian’s classmate)🙏. But as we have it, ***man disposes and God proposes*** or however the saying goes😐.

So there is this girl in teenage church, her name is Blessing. Our meeting was so awkward and we never talked about it. It all happened one Sunday; I was pressed and went to the church toilet to urinate. I was inside the toilet doing my thing when all of a sudden, someone bumped in😲😲….. I said EEHHHH! And she was like AAAHHHH😱😶!!! And that was the end of our conversation. Indeed, the shortest conversation is the one you have with the person who bumps into you in the toilet😒.

Well, we went back into the church after our short conversation and whenever we made eye contact, we end up smiling like tickled puppies😵.

So it all happened on New Year’s Eve last December…. We went for the normal cross over night service and somehow, I was sitting at the back of the church with Blessing. It was awkward at first but after a while, we got gisting uncontrollably😉…. Even the frowning face of the usher couldn’t stop us from our romantic ride that night😈….. We had crossed over to the New Year but in my church, we hold a mini service after the New Year shout….. That is usually the point where I get sleepy😖 but this New Year was a unique one. Somehow, some way, I was outside the church with Blessing at a dark corner😋….. our body was so close to each other like we were set of Siamese twins😉…..at this point I could hear a voice in my head saying she wants you to kiss her😙, the voice sounded like that of mama Tunde💀…. It must have been the devil speaking but I was in church premises and Blessing’s eyes kept telling me ***draw closer in the lord’s presence***😁….. We got really emotional and yes….. We kissed💋💋, I tested my orange skills that I learnt from Howells….at first it was at a slow pace and it was like a snail was moving round my lips😕 and then the pace increased and it was like I was being strangled by an octopus😳😵😵…. Apparently, Blessing hasn’t even kissed before either. It was a crazy experience; I had saliva all over my face😮😭. To think that I switched off the fear of God in me and took the risk of kissing in church only for it to turn out bad…. Oh! What a waste of sin😩😔.  

Okay, I celebrated my birthday last week and I got an unexpected Gift. I got a Gift from nature. It was a strand of hair on my jaw. I already told Brian to help me get a beard cream and a beard brush😁😁… I am gradually becoming a man. I am actually getting old and I haven’t achieved anything in my bucket list yet…. Okay, I have a lot of stuff on that list, maybe I should call it a basin list cause a bucket can’t accommodate all I have on the list😐😕.

Here are a few things on my list

1.  I have to go on a vacation with my side chick😉😁….it is always sweeter with a side chick than with a main chick…. Don’t blame me, that was what the movies made me realize.

2.  I have to get into prison. Everyone who goes into prison for a course ends up being a leader. E.g. obasanjo 😶, Mandela, Gandhi…. and I want to be a leader someday. So this prison is a very important factor.

3.  I need to go to space. But before then, I will need to sew a moon sized Nigeria flag. I want to cover the moon with the flag so whenever the moon shines, it shines green white green😏…. This will be a payback for not being an American citizen😈😈.

4.  I need to win the mtn project fame. I don’t sing often though, I only sing when I have a problem and then I realize my voice is worst than my problem😣😩😔.

5.  I have to get a black belt in kung fu.( don’t ask me what it is for😏)

6.  I think I will have to do a plastic surgery too. I can’t be mistaken for Mayowa all the days of my life😐😒.

7.  Go on a dinner date with nurse veronica, get drunk with her, go under the shower with her(very important😋😋) and you know😏😏😉……?

DIARY OF AN AJBUTTER KID 3

I know you’ve missed me, well I’ve been a bit sick so I haven’t really had time😩. Mom suggested I visited the hospital but I’m a man and I can take care of myself…. Okay, truth is, the hospital brings bad memories. Memories of when I got divorced amongst others… oh I never told you I was married? Well yes, I was married to the love of my dreams *****name withheld for security reasons*****😊.

So how I got divorced was some time ago when I was sick, everyone requested I eat so I could get better, I wasn’t having appetite so mum got me some oranges. After having the oranges,  I got a bit hungry so mum made me eat baked cassava grains and palmnut soup😥.. It is my ancestral food though; I think grand pa would fall sick and probably die if he goes a day without having palmnut soup, which he calls banga soup. Later that evening I was set to go the hospital for treatment, I noticed an upset in my intestines but I was sure it was going to relief me. I got to the hospital with dad and I was ushered to a room alone with the love of my dreams Nurse Veronica😃. This is what I have always dreamt of I thought to myself, she romantically tapped my shoulder and said it won’t be painful, I smiled and said to myself, love is worth any pain😏. She told me to turnaround and face the window, she probably didn’t want me to see her get undressed😉…. I totally understand. In less than a minute, I felt her soothing hands around my waist, that was the closest I had been to paradise😵. She moved her hands gently round my waist from behind and unbuttoned my trouser. What a romantic lady. She pulled my trouser down a bit and I felt a cold wet stuff on my butt. Could she be that she’s kissing my butt😲. I was still trying to understand the romance when I felt a sharp piercing on my butt …I screamed and just at that moment, my stomach upset got a breakthrough my butt. Nurse Veronica wasn’t pleased with me I could see it on her face as she went to the restroom to wash herself up and change her lab coat. It wasn’t intentional like twit does😩. It was either my ancestral delicacy which I had earlier or the oranges. I don’t think it was the soup though cause mom later said she sent mama Tunde to get the oranges for me that day. I am sure mama Tunde poisoned my orange😒…. And From that day, I drew the battle line against mama Tunde😠. Nurse Veronica came out and right there she divorced me. Cause ever since that day she stopped calling me her husband. Worst is, she started calling Hilbert her husband😩. I was emotionally and mentally unstable for a long time. How can she break up with me just because of a little mistake and she went ahead to marry my younger brother. I’m still looking for ways to break up their union someday😈. Maybe when I’m old enough, I’ll take the matter to court.

Talking about being old,

So I’ll be 16 in no time My birthday is rolling in real fast and I'm already mailing old friends and relatives urging them to save up enough cash to make my birthday a memorable one. And I still don’t have a girlfriend but there is this new girl in my class, I think I have a crush on. Her name is Mirabel. She's practically the most beautiful girl in the whole school. I made up my mind to express my feelings to her yesterday but dad had us eat garlic-spiced rice for breakfast and that kept me mute throughout the day😒. I bet you know what garlic can do to one's breath.

So today I made up my mind that I'll let Mirabel know that I am ready to be her Romeo😎. Even though I was a bit intimidated and rough handled this morning. What happened this morning was, mom had travelled for some career training in Switzerland and dad hasn’t renewed his car papers still. And I won’t want us to get harassed by the police like we experienced yesterday. Yesterday dad was going to drop I and Hilbert off at school when he was stopped by the police😓. Apparently, dad didn’t know his license had expired…… ***my dad can be so unserious with life😑***. Mom wouldn’t make such a mistake. Dad referred to the officer as his friend while trying to explain to him. And I was trying to eavesdrop on their conversation until I heard the police officer tell dad, “I’m not your friend my friend”, “you better keep quiet and start talking”. I was as confused as ever😕.  Trying to understand their conversation was more difficult than a bird trying to ride a bicycle😔. I wouldn’t want to go through such today so I decided to take public transportation to school. I walked out of our estate gate and boarded a tricycle, popularly called keke. I was highly intimidated when two fat women came to seat at both sides, leaving me squeezing at the middle😒. I got down at my school gate looking like a debtor that had been dragged to pay up his debt😢. But I was determined that nothing was going to stop me from sweeping Mirabel off her feet today🙏.

       It was break time and everyone was busy doing a thing or two. Mirabel was standing out along the walkway, her arms folded stylishly as she leaned her curvy body against the balcony rails and watched the junior students play volleyball. gosh, I ogled at her beauty😋. her hair was Dark and well Weaved like a princess awaiting her suitor, her uniform was neatly ironed and perfumed. One could smell her scent from a mile away.  she smiled while she watched the boys play. 

I thought to myself, 'this is the best girl in the world'.

I couldn't help smiling sheepishly like an overfed chicken😀. 

time to strike!  But to my greatest surprise, Mirabel started walking towards me. This must be God at work I thought. She walked majestically and when she approached I could feel the scent of her perfume.  I quickly adjusted my Collar and neatly arranged my sleeves. I took a deep breath to be sure I was free from the garlic stench😎. 

I stood up from my seat and sat on my desk as a bad guy (irrespective of the fact that a law was passed in assembly hall last week that bans students from sitting or standing on desks). I was shivering in me but I didn't let that affect my Confidence. I am the most handsome boy in this school😊. I said to myself. Or maybe the second most handsome or the fifth…..or…you know what, I don’t care the number I fall in the handsome boys ranking, all I know is, this is my time

Finally she got close to me; I was still acting like I didn’t know she was standing next to me. Then she tapped me gently and acted all calm and composed. I turned and she said to me in her calm sweet voice “I think you should visit the restroom to wash away the dried soap stain in your ear”😞😞😭

At that point I was on mute and all I could see was the last seed of bathing soap I used to take my bath that morning. And at that moment, I swore I was never gonna use that brand of soap again. All this wouldn’t happen if mom was around but my stingy dad doesn’t care if we are running out of stock in the house😣.

Well, as a man that I am, I must get myself together and stick to my purpose of the day😏. So I timidly said “I left the soap there cause it is part of a chemistry practical I am working on”. To avoid further deliberations on that soap issue, I quickly added…”you're Mirabel the new girl right?  Welcome to The Great Pillars College. I muttered”😎. 

She turned and smiled, thanks sir! She said.  Although, I was a bit not comfortable with the ‘sir’ title she gave me. Then she went further to say, 'you must be Mayowa Lakatos right? The boy I met at the bus stop yesterday?

Like seriously😲?  I was like WTF😱? At this point, my confidence melted like ice in Lagos traffic. Mayowa Lakatos is the ugliest boy in the whole school. A day hardly goes by without hearing news of Mayowa fighting with a senior student.  Mayowa spends one third of his entire school period in detention. How could she have mistaken me for him!  Howells my friend once told me I looked like Mayowa Lakatos. Now I'm beginning to reconsider if he was actually joking about that or if he meant what he was saying😐 

How could she have mistaken me for Mayowa. I still couldn't get that off my head. Well, I now tried explaining to her that I was Neptune Berkeley and all that. But she was already gone.  

I checked my wristwatch and damn! Break time was over. Just then I heard the sound of my English teacher saying,”hey you that boy sitting on the desk, go on your knees now”... I peeped outside the class and I saw that Mr. Salami the English teacher was already making his way into my class. Salami does not condone negligence from students. He practically has his long cane attached to his hands; I have never seen him without a cane in his hands. so it was obvious i was in for some deep poo😶😶. 

I received 10 strokes of cane that faithful day in front of everyone in class including the almighty Mirabel... Everyone laughed uncontrollably at me.

I even heard Mirabel say something to her friends like 'this Mayowa boy always gets himself into trouble' and they all laughed wickedly😢.  

For goodness sake I am Not Mayowa Lakatos  .... I am Neptune Berkeley😠.

       After receiving 10 strokes of Mr. Salami's whip, I acted all cool and easy like I felt no pain😏...  Just to impress the ladies... But I had to take a hot water seat bath when I got home to prevent my lip sorry butt from swelling. 

DIARY OF AN AJEBUTTER KID 2

Well, today is Saturday, the beginning of yet another weekend, few years ago, I usually look forward to weekends but of recent weekends haven’t really been nice to me😞.  I remember one Saturday, Mom, Hilbert and i went for a party; Brian had jamb lectures to attend so he couldn’t come along. Hilbert fell asleep at the back seat of mom’s car. If you know my younger brother, you will know he sleeps more than a blind man😉. Mom had to carry his sleepy body to the party hall and with all the noise, Hilbert didn’t move an inch. Even a scarecrow has more stimulus than Hilbert when he’s asleep😶. The party was hosted by mom’s colleague who had a very pretty daughter named Bimpe. As a ladies’ man, I was sitting right next to her😏. Refreshment was served and I was busy having the time of my life smiling and gisting with Bimpe. Not until mom walked up to me and said“ it is when you see food that you’ll start smiling like a basket, better don’t finish that food, remain some for your brother”. That was the last time I ever went to a party with mom.

So On weekends like these, I get to do house chores and do my laundry, I’m a very neat guy you know, I do my laundry every Saturday but this Saturday would be an exception cause I already washed on Thursday afternoon after school. I had to wash cause I came back from school and found that my puppy –Twit- had pooped on my bed spread. That animal has been on a pooing spree of late, it sure needs a puppy diaper or something, at first it pooped on Brian’s laptop, it was funny to me until it did it on my bedspread, dad laughed at the both of us. But today, the dog will be visiting the vet cause dad woke up this morning and found that Twit pooped on his favorite sofa in the sitting room. Dad was so furious. One thing about dad is he never takes things seriously until he’s affected. I remember when mom told him that the kitchen fridge was beginning to shock, dad never took it serious until one day, when he wanted to grab a bottle of cold water after his evening workout, all we heard from the kitchen was dad screaming Ye!!!! We rushed in and we saw dad looking like someone that just returned from Mecca, cause his beards seemed to have added more length. The next day the electrician was around.

So….. .It’s almost evening mom hasn’t returned from the market yet. Brian and Hilbert are on their way to the saloon, I should have gone with them but my hair hasn’t recovered from the last time I was at the saloon. It was a sunny Saturday, I went to my barbers shop and I told him to barb for me the Jason Derulo’s hairstyle he posted on the door of his shop. In no time, I was seated and ready to get the best hairstyle anyone has ever seen in our neighborhood. I was enjoying the haircut and was so loving the warmth feeling of the clipper moving round my head. My eyes were close and I was lost in the cool westlife songs playing from his DVD. In no time, he was through. When I opened my eyes, I found my head looking as plain as the newly constructed lekki-ikoyi link bridge. I was so angry at my barber. He later explained that he made a mistake and he didn’t want me to feel bad so he gave me the hairstyle that will suit me better. So my head looking like a locally grown apple was the best he could come up with. It was then I knew that Nigerian barbers post styles they can’t cut. Thank God school was on holiday then so Brian’s cap became an attachment to my head for more than a week.

So today I’ll be all alone playing the video game uncle Sammy got for us last Christmas. Uncle Sammy is my very rich uncle, he owns one of the best sharwama eatery in Lagos state, somewhere at surulere...(And I’m not bragging).. One thing I know about uncle Sammy is, you can never pick an offense against him for too long, he doesn’t even need to apologize before you forgive and forget. I remember one time Uncle Sammy offended Hilbert and I, so when we heard he was coming over, we decided to act neutral around him. No uncle this, uncle that. So he came and we greeted him formally, he then asked the normal question “how are you boys? “And we said “fine”, the plan was going well until he offered me the sharwama he brought from his eatery; I bluntly said I didn’t have appetite with my hands folded. He turned to Hilbert and before he asked the question, Hilbert had grabbed the nylon, I was like WTF!!!!! That day I knew how Jesus felt when Judas betrayed him. My mom came in and saw only Hilbert munching on the shawarma like a hungry pig and she asked “Neptune won’t you join him? “Uncle Sammy quickly answered, he said he didn’t have appetite, I felt like an outcast that day. They didn’t even beg me to grab a bite. I’m definitely not going to forgive them. So I decided I was going to pack out of the house (yes, I was that angry). I decided to have lunch before packing out but after lunch, I realized I needed to have a last supper too.( don’t look at me that way, it is hard for me to just let go of my Jesus identity). After supper that evening, it was already late so I decided I will carry out my plan the next morning. It’s been two years already and I’m still in my father’s house…… To forgive and forget is actually easier than I thought.

Yawnsss!!!!

 Am I supposed to update my diary on Sundays too?? Well, I’m no longer Jesus’ birthday mate so it’s high time I quit being too holy…. So it Sunday and I woke up before everyone. Dad is actually the one in charge of waking us up on Sundays. To tell the truth, Dad is kind of annoying, he wakes us up by taking the blankets off our body leaving us shivering in the Freezing cold and eventually we'll all jump out of bed like frozen rats  . He thinks it's cool but to me it's just not cool at all...

Well, thank God I woke up just before dad arrived. I was already done dressing up when dad finally came in to wake Brian and Hilbert up.

I kind of feel for Hilbert, he has been exposed to so much ills in life. Yea, reasons being that, we have a bunk kind of bed in our room and Brian selfishly took the up bed all for himself, well that was what mom wanted cos she believed I was too young then to climb up and down the bunk every day, yeah. Hilbert was still a kid then. But presently, there is no mattress on the down bunk anymore. So Hilbert and I sleep on a bigger bed, the bed is just beneath Brian's bed. And unfortunately Brian is a pathetic droller. 

He drools like a poisoned frog when he's asleep.  Well, I actually used to be the one At the receiving end of Brian's drool but I switched sleeping position with Hilbert ever since I noticed the direction Brian faces whenever he activates his drooling mood. 

Although I never told Hibbert why I opined for a change in position.

Just last week I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw Hilbert’s face was completely soaked with Brain's saliva.  Obviously Brian drooled profusely that night. The most disgusting part was that Hilbert was fast asleep and he never knew what was happening to his face, he probably thought he was being breast fed by mom or something cos he kept licking his mouth and smiling like a duck…...........yuck! 

Well, dad came and woke Brian and Hilbert up and we all got dressed for church. In no time we took off, one thing I dislike about our church aside their early morning services is that kids below the age of 15 were forced to stay in the children Sunday school while the adults occupied the main church. Obviously Hilbert still has a lot of Sunday schooling to do cos he's barely 6.

Well, I am almost 16 but sadly I am still being restricted from going inside the main church all because of the unfortunate event that befell me last year. Last year during the children church leavers send-off ceremony, I was glad I was leaving the children church for good, that day was so special to me that I wore my Sunday best to church.  When we got to the main church hall, we, the grandaunts’ were called up on stage and the rest of the children cheered and gave us a befitting standing ovation... I felt really proud  , some set of children sang poems of how they were gonna miss our presence and all that stuff,,, but who cares?  definitely not me.... I was so sure I wasn’t gonna miss anyone  … I was still basking in the euphoria of attending service in the big church and probably sitting beside the gorgeous Christabel who was my crush then  , she was Brian’s classmate and I started tripping when she came top of her class few years ago and on her valedictory speech, she mentioned she was going to pursue a career in engineering (how i love intelligent ladies). I couldn’t get the soothing thoughts off my head when Mrs. Anyawu the children teacher called out my name in the crowd...... "Neptune Berkeley!" she alarmed, because of your beautiful dress and your outstanding voice, we've chosen you to present either a memory verse or a special number on behalf of the grandaunts,  i was like WTF?? What has my dressing got to do with this? It was obvious the devil prepared for me that day. Oh yes, the devil (mama Tunde) was seated at one corner of the congregation, smiling like a horse that has catarrh   . I never had a bible so definitely the memory verse was completely out of it, now I was stuck with singing a special number for the crowd….. 

I stood for complete 2minutes without knowing any reasonable song to sing. The once noisy hall turned quiet and all eyes were fixed on me. I began to shiver and sweat in my pants. Finally lyrics came to my head and started singing “oh Lord come down and manifest your power, oh Lord come down and manifest your power”. The choir was supposed to take it up from there I thought but they were all staring at me, waiting for me to continue. I couldn’t remember what comes next in the chorus of the song I was singing, suddenly I felt a beat playing in my head.. little did i know it was the devil doing what he or rather she does best  ....... all of a sudden I opened my mouth wide and I never knew when i started singing the popular MALONOGEDEDEby Timaya right there at the altar ………..   

Some part of the crowd busted into laughter(obviously the youths) and as it was, my big day of fame became my big day of shame  . My graduation gown was stripped off me. And I was ordered to stay back in the children church for an extra solid year...  that was how I broke the record as the oldest kid in children church ...... a record no one has broken before....... I doubt no one will ever break it. But with the way Hilbert is going with his Wimpy attitude, he may end up doing even worse than I've done.